"My God of Mercy"

I think this is one of the saddest verses in Scripture:
"Remove Your gaze from me, that I may regain strength,
Before I go away, and am no more." (Psalm 39:13)

When we feel like this psalmist, who says "remove your plague from me, I am consumed by the blows from Your hand...
when You correct man for iniquity You make his beauty melt away...
surely every man is vapor," (Psalm 39:10-11)
then our typical response is also like his:
"Remove your gaze from me..."
We find ourselves hiding like Adam and Eve, trying pitifully to cover our shame and disgrace with withering fig leaves, hoping He won't see through us.
We find ourselves running from ourselves, like Peter who shrugged and said, "I'm going fishing."
Right before he was found, again.

I read this today, it's one of many of my favorite passages of Scripture, because it jars my senses a little bit:
The people of Israel have been rebellious and selfish. They got themselves into a fix once again, and once again they have called upon Samuel to pray for them. But Samuel does not say,
"Give it time - let Him calm down. I'm sure it will be okay after awhile, but don't bother Him right now... I will break this to Him gently and in the meantime, BE VERY GOOD."
This would actually make sense to my ears, and feed my most natural tendencies. But no, he doesn't - instead he says to them,
"Do not be afraid;
you have done all this evil.
YET do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart, and do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty.
For the Lord will not forsake His people, for HIS great name's sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself...

Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you." (I Sam. 12:20-24)


Not only that, Samuel himself presents a picture of this merciful, covenantal God to the people when he says, "Morever, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin agains the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and right way."


There is something in me that gets stiff when I feel guilty. I heard it said once that it's easier to love on a dirty child than a stiff one. The temptation comes to me as a desire to "do penance," or to "fix this myself first... THEN I will come back, after awhile..." It can come across as humility, if I put the right spin on it; but the truth is that it's just plain old pride. It's beautiful the way that Jesus brushes all that away as soon as I am confronted with His presence (and isn't it true that He always finds us where we are? He is the Shepherd and we are just the sheep, after all, the ones He seeks and finds).

Watch Peter:
"Immediately, while Peter was speaking, the rooster crowed. And Jesus turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered... so Peter went out and wept bitterly..." (Luke 22:60-61)
"After these things... Simon Peter said to [the other disciples], 'I am going fishing.'
But when morning had come, Jesus stood on the shore...
the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord!'
Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he ... plunged into the sea.'
(John 21:1-7)

So tonight I was thinking about these things as I read about King David. He definitely "sinned and sinned boldly..." and yet his faith in God was bolder still. When he was caught not only in adultery but in murder and lies, he had a simple, repentant response: "I have sinned against the Lord."
And what was the prophet's answer?
"The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die."

David suffered dreadful consequences, but Martin Luther said, "Nathan proclaimed a message of grace, and David believed it. He did not try to satisfy God with works. He simply lived in grace." And the next verses testify to that. With his new baby's life hanging in the balance, David did not tiptoe shyly into God's presence, eyes shifting this way, and that... but he "sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground...when... David understood that his child was dead, he arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped." (2 Samuel 12)

Later in life we see a similar situation: again, David has sinned. This time David's own heart struck him, and he immediately "said to the Lord, 'I have sinned greatly in what I have done. But now, O Lord, please take away the iniquity of your servant, for I have done very foolishly.' "
Again, a prophet comes to him and delivers the judgment: David must choose his own discipline. He makes a wise choice, gained from years of experience: instinctively he has learned to plea for mercy. He says,
"Let us fall into the hand of the Lord, for His mercy is great. But let me not fall into the hand of man."

Perhaps this is why he was a man after God's own heart. He rarely questioned God's mercy towards him, and he was convinced of God's ultimate sovereignty. For David, those two things were never incompatible:
"Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed." (Psalm 85:10)

One of David's names for God was "MY GOD OF MERCY..." (Psalm 59:17)
He prayed,
"Do not hide your face from your servant." (Psalm 16:17)
"God be merciful to us, and bless us, and make His face to shine upon us." (Ps. 67:1)

The greatest blessing that I could ever receive would be what is called the "beatific vision:" to see God's face, to receive His favor. If this is the greatest blessing, then the greatest curse would be to have it removed. And this is what Christ suffered on my behalf at the Cross where He cried out:
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

And so now I have a way to come before God without fear. I can lift my eyes and see Him seeing me without condemnation in His eyes. I can read His Word and find in its pages peace, not wrath. He is for me, not against me. I can approach a Throne of Grace, boldly. I have no need to justify myself, I simply need to learn to instinctively reach for mercy where I can find it, in Christ Jesus.

I'm done with sewing fig leaves.
I hope.