Memory Lane

I envy those of you who have had digital cameras for years because you probably have all of your pictures on disc or on file in your computer. Not me. I only got my digital camera a year or two ago. This picture of John and I was taken probably about 7 years ago by a friend of mine in my hometown, at her daughter's birthday party, and I had to take a picture of it to get it on the computer! It is my favorite picture because
1. This is how I think I still look in my head (which is why I still do a double take in the mirror or whenever I see the pictures I just took...),
2. It was a spontaneous shot. We were actually sitting like that when Lori said something and we looked, and she snapped,
3. John has his "real" smile on. I don't understand it, he smiles hundreds of times a day, probably - but stick a camera in his face, and he can't remember how to do it. So, most of my pictures of him look like someone else.
And finally, 4. it was taken at such a happy time in my life. I am still happy, but that was a different kind of happy - like childhood happy, looking back. Things had been pretty easy to that point, and we were still at home and surrounded by childhood friends and family. Now we are happy in a deeper, more settled way.

Anyway, that is my favorite picture of us, and since I've had requests for pictures of John, I figured I might as well post the best one I had! That picture was taken with black and white film, actually (that was "back in the days..."). John pretty much still looks the same - only grayer and a little older...and many days, a lot tireder. Like me. And we've spread. (John's "spread" look a LOT better than MY "spread," though... it's so not fair.) Even our faces have spread. Which is why I don't recognize myself anymore, but lets not talk about that. ;) I think we have officially moved into our "middle aged bodies." But I figure it's only downhill from here, so I'm enjoying what I've got at the moment, ha ha!

Last night was one of those happy nights. It's getting dark earlier, of course, and the kids were tired, so we lit some candles, had early baths, put on pj's and made dinner. It was good, we ate together, then I made hot cocoa. (by the way, check out the sidebar for the recipe... Beck said it was "the best cup of hot cocoa she'd ever had," so I tried it. Yeah, it's the best cup of hot cocoa I've ever had, too. But you have to check out the link provided to fully enjoy it - and then you have to use "Carnation" brand... go read and you'll understand!)
Everyone was happy and relaxed.
Later on I was headed out to run one last quick errand of the day while John tucked everyone in. That old Shania Twain song came on the radio, and it made me smile...

"Looks like we've made it,
Look how far we've come, my baby,
I'm glad we didn't listen,
Look at what we would be missin',
They said, 'I bet they'll never make it,'
But just look at us holdin' on,
We're still together, still goin' strong.
You're still the one.."

John and I married very young. I was only 20, and still in college. He was just beginning law school. Some people counseled us to wait until he was done, but we couldn't imagine waiting that long. I just wanted to be there when he came home at night, I wanted to cook for him and know where he was, and go to bed at the same time under the same covers.

So, we married in the middle of a flurry of summer weddings at my church! I was either a bridesmaid or a bride for weeks on end. We rented a tiny little condo where we were either freezing or burning up for a year, until we found a better one. John's parents helped with his education by paying the rent on the condo and I got a grant to finish school because we were so poor! John took out 2 loans for law school and we used every penny of them. As it turned out, however, we only had to pay back a fraction of it, because as Providence would have it, one of the loans was forgiven when he went into law enforcement (he was a prosecutor for roughly 10 years). So we laugh about our "free education!" Good anecdote, bad reality. Financial stress is NOT fun, and it's tough on a young marriage. We walked away from those first few years with quite a bit of credit card debt that took us years to pay off. Thank God for Mom, who lived nearby and fed us several times a week, and even brought groceries by unplanned and unasked for.

At John's graduation, I was barely pregnant and nauseous, our one car had died, and our lease was up. We had no money left, so John's parents gave him $1,000 for Father's Day for a down payment on 2 cars. But - we were still happy to be having this baby, and we decided to look at her as a promise, not a reason to fear. If God made her, He would provide for her. And He did. John stepped out of his internship into a paying job in the same office. Someone quit just in time for John to step in! There were 3 students interning, and the staff took a vote - who should they hire? It was John, and we were so grateful! Thus began an 8 year relationship that we'll always look back at with fond memories. Those were great friendships we made there, and John built quite a reputation in that town for his prosecutorial skills over time. When he goes back now, he's hailed as a celebrity - we left on a high note! :) It's good for his ego! The stories get bigger and more legendary the longer we're gone... it's funny.

Then came Courtney, then we bought our first house thanks to my mom and dad who gave us a small down payment. (WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT OUR PARENTS? IN THE HOMELESS SHELTER???) Then came Claire. Fast forward 4 years and we found ourselves here, pregnant once again with our last, a boy. Fast forward 2 more years and we found ourselves HAPPY to be here.

As Sarah put it so well today,
blink.

Suddenly, I'm middle aged and the kids are half grown. John has some seriously graying hair, I'm 10 pounds heavier, and we find ourselves mellowing a lot. Middle age is a comfortable place to be, as far as I'm concerned. I have loved my thirties.

There is a lot more in between those lines I just wrote... but maybe another time. Today I'm just feeling thankful for...

22. a husband of my youth...
23. children of my youth...
24. life experience that made me who I am today...
25. happiness that comes when it will...